Domestic Violance

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On Feb. 15 2014 Ray Rice Hit Janay Palmer, now Janay Rice, so hard he knocked her unconscious.

On Feb. 19 2014 we all got to see Ray Rice Hit Janay Palmer, now Janay Rice, so hard he knocked her unconscious.

On Feb. 21 2014 we’re told how good a guy Ray Rice is and how the couple has a few issues to work out.

On Mar. 24 2014 we are promised that Ray Rice will be back.

On Mar 26 2014 we’re told the NFL isn’t sure if it will punish Rice at all.

On Mar 28 2014 Janay Palmer married Ray Rice and became Janay Rice.

On May 21 2014 Ray Rice was allowed to enter a first time offenders program as opposed to taking him to trial. Under the terms of the deal, if Rice completes a 12-month program and stays out of trouble, the case will not show up on his record.

On May 23 2014 Ray and Janay Rice apologize. Ray for “the situation he and his wife were in.” and Janay for getting hit i would assume.

On July 24 2014 Ray Rice received a suspension of 2 games for hitting a person who’s a third his size so hard she was knocked unconscious.

On Sep 8 2014 the world watched Ray Rice hit Janay Palmer so hard he knocked her unconscious. Rice is also suspended indefinitely by NFL.

On Sep 9 2014 Janay Rice releases a statement through instagram that reads:

“I woke up this morning feeling like I had a horrible nightmare, feeling like I’m mourning the death of my closest friend,” she wrote. “But to have to accept the fact that it’s reality is a nightmare in itself. No one knows the pain that the media and unwanted options from the public has caused my family. To make us relive a moment in our lives that we regret every day is a horrible thing. To take something away from the man I love that he has worked his ass of for all his life just to gain ratings is horrific.

“THIS IS OUR LIFE! What don’t you all get. If your intentions were to hurt us, embarrass us, make us feel alone, take all happiness away, you’ve succeeded on so many levels. Just know we will continue to grow & show the world what real love is! Ravensnation we love you!”

This is where I’ll stop because this is what i want to address.
What Janay doesn’t get is we don’t care about her or her life any more then we care about the abused woman down the street from us. I know that sounds harsh but it’s true. It’s not her getting hit we care about. It’s not Ray Rice hitting her that we care about. What we care about is an NFL player hitting a woman so hard he knocked her out. NFL players are, weather or not they, or we, want it or like it, role models. Our children and even our adults look up to them as though everything they do is perfect. They see these men as what a man should be. They want nothing more then to be these men. So when these men hit a woman our sons learn it’s manly to hit a woman and our daughters learn that as long as you want to be with the big man you have to be ok with being beat. These are not lessons most parents want their children to learn.

I have a 9 year old son. I’m not athletic and neither is he but i’m trying to change that. I feel having a competitive side would be good for him. However i don’t want him to believe that being an athlete means you hit people who are weaker then you are. I don’t want him to grow up thinking masculinity depends on the oppression of women. And i don’t want him to grow up to marry a woman who think’s it’s acceptable to be hit by her boyfriend or husband.

What Janay and all other spouses of abusive public figures don’t understand is we don’t care about them. We don’t care that they are ok with being beaten. We don’t care that you love him. We don’t care that you swear he’ll never do it again. We don’t care if he murders you, any more then we care about any woman murdered by her husband. It’s not about you. It’s about us. Us ALL. It’s about society as a hole being ok with men hitting women. It’s about the lessons our children learn and it’s about paying millions to a person who see’s 50.8% of the american population as a punching bag. When you hit one of us you hit all of us.

We can’t stop Ray Rice from beating Janay Rice since she’s oked it. However we can stop our children from watching this man on TV and stop him from being our children’s role model. That’s what was done when he was fired. He wasn’t fired to hurt her. He wasn’t fired to hurt his family or embarrass them, make them feel alone, take all happiness away from them. We did it to protect our sons and daughters from her and her husband. Let him hit her all he wants and she allows but i will never allow him or anyone like him to be my child’s hero.

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